For years I wanted to be the mom who would create beautiful, healthy meals for my family. I subscribed to food magazines. I joined a recipe group. I saved piles of Food section clippings.

Unfortunately, I don’t like to cook. I find the process messy and overwhelming and exhausting. I like to eat, which is (sadly) not the same thing. So I felt guilty and resentful a lot. Resentful of the four other people who live with me who wanted to eat every.single.day. Critical of myself for failing at the task.

What I do like to do (love, actually) is connect with people. I love to encourage them, challenge them, write, speak my truth. And killing myself to try to do what I wasn’t good at was seriously getting in the way of my superpower.

Lately, I’ve made more peace with eating to live vs. making every meal a masterpiece. Now, the way I prepare meals is way more simple. I buy more prepared food. I get more takeout. I let DONE be better than perfect when it comes to feeding my people. I’ve let go of the expectation that being known for my cooking is ever going to be a part of my identity. My kids are not going to look back and reminisce over the amazing homecooked meals I made. That’s OK. It’s not my gift or my joy. I hope they’ll remember me for other things — things that have deep meaning and value for me. Grace, laughing a lot, serenity, self compassion.

Women frequently come to coaching seeking balance, wondering what magical tool I have that will add more hours to their tightly scheduled days. The secret is this: you already have all of the hours you need. You definitely have all of the hours you’re going to get.

If you want to pack more meaning, value and peace into the hours of your life, the single greatest thing you can do is to let go, even in a small way, of one “should” or “have to” that you’ve previously considered mandatory. Even if it disappoints someone else. Even if it’s radical! I wonder what delicious and delightful thing you will use to fill the hours you would have spent doing the “required” thing (or beating up on yourself about not doing it)? I’d love to hear.