Here’s what I know to be true:
The Earth desperately needs the healing power of women. She needs all of us: authors and artists, accountants, attorneys and activists. She needs mothers and mathematicians.
Here’s what I also know: we cannot be of the utmost service when we don’t tap into those unique-to-us gifts to the fullest, when we are caught in an endless cycle of indecision, perfectionism and beating up on ourselves.
Our culture sets an impossible standard for women: do it all perfectly while looking great and not ruffling any feathers. Be small, be accommodating. Don’t want too much, but be focused and accomplished. Be your own toughest critic. You can and should be trying harder.
Most of us have gotten really, really good at following those instructions. So good that it’s killing us. Our health suffers. Our relationships suffer. The world suffers.
It’s time for you to wake up to the beauty and power of who you are. To find the clarity and connection to purpose that you’ve been seeking and then find a way to live that purpose out loud. To lay down the burden of perfectionism and self-judgement so you can move forward.
Both for your own joy and for the healing of the world that we share.
Maybe it’s Finally Time to Make Peace with Yourself.
Nothing new or good can grow from relentless self-punishment or bending ourselves to fit into some else’s vision for us. Positive and lasting change is never born in shame.
When we’re in that place, we can’t focus on the things that truly matter. All that self-punishment and people pleasing is a siphon – it keeps you spinning and it drains your life of purpose.
That’s not what I want for you.
I want you to know yourself – deeply.
Your values, your gifts, your truth.
I want you to walk in love. I want you to receive love – including from yourself.
I want you to be able to take your next significant step from a place of clarity, certainty and purpose, so that you can create the transformation you’re seeking.
I want you to make the meaningful impact only you can contribute to your family, your friends, your work, our world.
I want you to be able to trust that you are living life on purpose, grounded in your values and your gifts.
I want you to laugh – A LOT.
(Including at yourself)
That’s what happens when you move into a place of self acceptance, courage, clarity and peace.
It’s not that you’re suddenly perfect and have all the answers (you won’t). It’s not that you won’t make mistakes (you will – it’s called being human).
It’s that when you live a life grounded in the truth of who you are – when you have a WHY and not just a WHAT to your choices – you are more effective, courageous, resilient and strong.
That’s my mission in the world and my coaching work with you.
Coaching is an investment in yourself – in your peace, your purpose and your joy. Make sure you invest in a coach with experience, ethics and training. Here’s what you need to know about me:
I completed my coach training and certification through CTI...
My early professional career was in adult and adolescent mental health and...
I am a long-time student of Brené Brown’s work...
I am a student of John and Julie Gottman...
Fun fact: The first half of my life was spent as an actress...
“I had spent nearly 20 years stuck with a metaphorical “foot in each row boat” about some big decisions in my life before I started coaching with Libby. Libby was able to help me finally get clear on what was really right for me, choose a course, take action and start living my dreams. I can’t wait to work with her again on my next big goal.”
– Nicole from New Jersey
That’s my professional preparation for our work together, but that’s not the whole story.
Here’s my personal journey – one that is still unfolding. I’m sharing it in hopes that something might resonate with you.
Kids are naturally self-accepting and I was, too. READ MORE...
But for so many girls, the world knocks that love and self-confidence right out of us. For me, things started changing at age 11, right along with my body. At 18, my dream of being a Broadway star dissolved in a sea of more talented competition, my first true love broke my heart and my body became unrecognizable to me after a year of homesickness, heartbreak and emotional eating. A crisis of confidence swirled into a full blown identity breakdown. Who was I now? I had no idea.
I coped the only way I knew – by beginning a pattern of numbing and fixing behaviors. People pleasing. Perfectionism. Starving myself. Unrelenting workouts. Compulsive reading of self-help books. Doing anything and everything to try to fix what I believed was broken in me. I lived so much of my life as a reaction to what other people thought, or what I thought they thought of me. I was at war with myself in a battle that would last for almost two decades.
After college, I accepted a prestigious job that made me miserable and was in opposition to everything I valued. I stayed in the wrong relationship for way too long with a guy who couldn’t love me. My full-scale free fall only lasted a few years but the journey to recovery took more like fifteen.
Things began to shift when I began to really listen to the voice within me that was longing for more. I got some great therapy, ditched the bad relationship, quit the soul-sucking job, moved across the country for love and dove into a career I loved in social service. Personal development slowly became more hobby than punishment. I was making progress toward self-acceptance, even though I wouldn’t have called it that back then.
After a battle with infertility, I had three miracle babies in 2 ½ years. I was deeply in love with them but completely exhausted and overwhelmed, with virtually no skills in self-care. I was trying so hard to be the perfect mom and make it look effortless. When my boys would go to bed at night, wine became my only reliable strategy to unwind and relax, to try to cope with the pressure I was putting on myself (and also my very real and massive responsibilities). Night after night, as predictable as a taxi turning off it’s light at the end of a shift, I checked out and called it rest.
Eventually, having the first sip of wine was too much for me and the last one was never quite enough. The impact that drinking was having on my spirit and my self worth was killing me and I was filled with constant shame and fear about where it all was headed. I knew that I couldn’t continue to drink and be in integrity with other people or with myself.
Quitting and choosing to do life wide awake meant that I finally, finally, finally had to accept myself wholly and completely. I had to decide that I loved myself enough to make a life change that felt radical and counter-cultural, but that was totally grounded in what I knew to be true for me. Integrity, connection and courage are my three most deeply held values (a great coach helped me figure that out). Giving up alcohol was the ultimate gesture of self love. Once I really, really knew that, the solution was clear.
I had to keep on loving myself, every single day, imperfections and all.
I still do.
I had to find a way to live that more deeply honored my gifts and the things that make me uniquely me.
In 2012, I became a coach and the rest, as they say, is history.
Peace, self-acceptance, clarity, living on purpose.
That’s what my life looks like now.
That’s what I want for you, too.
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